Matrimonial ceremonies, where a man and a woman are united through a ritual recognized by authorities (whether religious or legal), date back nearly to the dawn of civilization. Indeed, some form of marriage exists in nearly every culture. Over the centuries, however, the institution of marriage has transformed into various forms.
A Brief Overview of the History of Marriage
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Ancient Customs and Practices
In ancient societies, marriage emerged as a way to create a secure environment for reproduction, protect familial lines, and manage property rights. For example, in ancient Hebrew tradition, a brother was required to marry his deceased sibling’s widow. Even then, these unions were influenced as much by love and desire as by social and economic factors. The simple circular shape of the traditional engagement ring—an enduring custom with origins in Ancient Rome—symbolizes eternity and everlasting commitment.
It was once believed that a vein from the left hand’s ring finger was directly linked to the heart. Furthermore, many contemporary marriage customs trace back to ancient traditions. For instance, to enhance fertility, newlyweds would drink a honey-based beverage during specific lunar phases, giving rise to the term “honeymoon.”
Variations in Marriage
The understanding of marriage varied widely among different cultures. Some societies practiced endogamy, where men were expected to marry within their social group, while others embraced exogamy, which encouraged marrying outside one’s community. Additionally, some cultures accepted polygamy, allowing men to have multiple wives. However, by the end of the Roman Empire, polygamy was outlawed, alongside regulations against fornication and adultery. This period marked the beginning of the modern marriage concept, which later spread throughout the Western world.
The Influence of the Church
In Europe, marriage was historically seen as a civil matter. Around 5 AD, significant Christian theologians like Augustine began discussing marriage, which drew the attention of the Christian Church. Consequently, Christians started requesting ministers to officiate their ceremonies. By the 12th century, the Roman Catholic Church formally defined marriage as a sacrament, believed to be blessed by God. Catholics still view matrimony as a sacred union among God, the groom, and the bride. Meanwhile, the 16th-century Reformation redefined marriage as a lifelong and monogamous commitment.
Courtship in Victorian Society
During the Victorian era, romantic love became the primary basis for marriage, leading to more formal courtship rituals. A gentleman first had to be formally introduced to the woman he admired before they could engage in conversation or be seen together. If he wished to escort her home from a social event, he would present his card, and by evening’s end, the woman would review her options and select her escort.
Courtship usually occurred in the girl’s home, supervised by her parents or chaperone. If all went well, couples might advance to the front porch. In those times, couples were rarely seen alone without supervision, and marriage proposals were often delivered via letters.
The History of Divorce
Divorce has existed almost as long as marriage, highlighting the complexities of marital relationships. In ancient Greece, divorce was relatively easy; the requesting party only needed to submit a petition to a magistrate. In early Roman culture, however, divorce was uncommon. As the empire expanded, civil law began to accept that either spouse could freely dissolve the marriage.
For much of the last millennium, divorce was met with societal disapproval. Early Christianity deemed annulment—the only Church-sanctioned way to end a marriage—as the proper approach. This disapproval led to significant historical events, such as King Henry VIII’s 1533 break from the Catholic Church, driven by his desire to divorce Catherine of Aragon and marry Anne Boleyn.
Unusual Customs
In the 16th and 17th centuries, the practice of “bundling” was prevalent in various regions of Europe and America. This custom allowed courting couples to share a bed—fully clothed and separated by a “bundling board”—enabling them to converse and become acquainted within the woman’s home.
During the 18th century in some European areas, it was customary to break a small loaf of bread over the bride’s head as she left the church. Unmarried guests would eagerly gather the crumbs to place under their pillows, hoping to improve their chances of finding a partner. This unusual custom is often thought to be a precursor to the modern wedding cake tradition.
